Ep 3. Are You Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired?

Welcome to episode Three: Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired? I hope you are doing well. In fact, how are you doing? As promised, we will continue our journey. We explored the Aha moment and reframing. I am sure you realize the importance of the "Aha" moments and the power of reframing. However, these stages have limited short-term effects. The last part of the transformational puzzle is the way forward. But as important as the way forward is, we must have all three parts together. Because sustained actions come from sustained thoughts, and of course, thoughts come from mindset. It would be like repairing a broken pipe without turning the water off. So anyway, the way forward. The way forward has three critical components; the first is the foundation of the "Aha" moment and the self-realization of the reframing because this has caused different feelings, which have automatically shifted our mindset. The way forward contains the pieces we must work with. So now we put a plan together that includes accountability and commitment. The term accountability usually has a negative connotation for all of us because accountability is associated with punishment or chastisement from judgment. The judgment makes us defensive and will shut us down. Also, we will tend to attack the person we believe is judging us verbally, mentally, or physically. But we will reframe accountability as milestones. For instance, if you intended to save 100.00 dollars a month, you could have a weekly milestone of responsibility of $25.00. This action would let you know where you are at any given time. And would keep you on top of the authenticity of your commitment. Reframing, in turn, would stop you from being overwhelmed and confused. And the beauty of this approach is that if something unexpected comes up in life (like it always seems to), we can add another week instead of freaking out or beating ourselves up. Or save as little as 5 dollars that week. You can see the power of this strategy because we usually get frustrated or shut down when we feel like we are not getting anywhere in life. You may also get the "aha" moment of I'm okay because I am still on track. The reframing of I have succeeded; I am intelligent and resourceful because I have come up with a new way to achieve the same goal. Reframing is like how your GPS calibrates a new pathway if you run into a blocked street during the original travel plan. There have been incredible realizations from decades of research from renowned specialists, such as Carol Dweck, that have given us an understanding of motivation in human beings. The carrot and stick, reward and punishment, are useless and must be replaced with autonomy, aka self-governance. Humans are more likely to commit to a plan they come up with because they have skin in the game. And it suits who you are; you are the only person who knows you. I am reminded of the story of David and Goliath. The King wants to put armor on David and give him a sword and shield because he is not considering David and is looking at himself instead of David. But David already knows who he is and what would best suit him to carry out his way forward. I am sure people thought he was nuts right up to the point until David defeated Goliath. Commitment is often easier to say than do. And that is okay because we are human. We have many experiences and thought behaviors that can help or heed our progress. Let us unpack some of the variables. It is, firstly, letting your mind abuse you by allowing it to live in the past and future. And yes, I did say allowing because your mind belongs to you, not you to it. (But that is the subject of another podcast.) Living in the past causes depression, and living in the future causes anxiety. Neither the past nor the future currently exists. So it is a complete waste of time to engage with either. Then you could experience confirmation bias. Confirmation bias is the tendency to search, interpret, and recall information in a way that aligns with our pre-existing values, opinions, or beliefs. It refers to recollecting information best when it amplifies our views. Ergo, if you are thinking about how you have failed. Or should I say "stopped trying" because there is no such thing as a failure until you stop trying? Or worrying about what could go wrong. You are pretty much "Dead-in-the-water." Then you have a Disconfirmation bias. Disconfirmation bias is when people tend to believe and accept evidence that supports their prior beliefs while dismissing evidence that refutes them. When you add these things together, your self-confidence can be severely affected. And how are you supposed to commit to something you don't believe you can do? You may have to remind yourself of the "Aha" and the reframing. You know that the plan is sound, and it is reality. It's okay to experience fear of the unknown. Reframe from fear to the excitement of new possibilities and the life you have secretly dreamed of. Please give it a go. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. And once you have succeeded, if your mind wanders into the past, you can remind yourself of your past victory. And thinking about the future changes from anxiety to enthusiasm about the future. So, now you are no longer stuck feeling helpless, ashamed, or anxious. You will have energized yourself mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. And you know that has to be great for you. Nike said it best, "Just Do It!" The next part of our journey will entail mindset. I hope you have enjoyed this podcast as much as I have enjoyed creating it. I believe in you. I believe in a brighter future for all humanity, as always. Please remember to Love Yourself. You are Not Alone. You are relevant and worthy. How About that?