Episode Transcript
Are Your Relationships a Gain or a Drain? No, I am not talking about using people or always looking to take what you don't deserve.
I am talking about cultivating associations that recharge you and allow you to revive them.
Have you been around someone or even on the phone with someone, and after your interaction, you feel drained?
I have experienced this after thinking about something between myself and someone else. And not just from a present encounter.
On a side note, after ending a less-than-rewarding relationship with a lady I had been with for several years. I realized this after a brief but pleasant conversation several months after the break-up. I felt like I was running on empty. My shoulders were raised and tight. And my stomach was knotted.
After noticing this, I must have been like this during the relationship. These sensations were only noticeable because I hadn't been in contact with the lady for a while.
As I thought back, there were periods of chronic fatigue. I had attributed this to my long work hours. That could not have been true because I still had the same hours but was no longer constantly tired.
I have since realized that our minds and bodies will warn us about unhealthy things we are doing to ourselves. The results will vary depending on the severity and length of the indulgence.
Unfortunately, the results can be as small as an upset stomach to death.
Several of my friends have had stomach ulcers, high blood pressure, strokes, and cancer brought on by family stresses.
Of course, nothing is all good, and nothing is all bad. There are circumstances in great relationships that can be draining. And there can be moments in toxic relationships that can be empowering.
There is a saying that goes like, "A chain is only as strong as its weakest link." I have adapted that to relationships. A relationship is only as good as the worst thing that person has done to you. This statement seems shocking as it sinks in. But not recognizing this caused me a lot of problems in the past. However, I never faced those problems again when I put that reality in my toolbox and used it regularly.
Life can hit you with an unexpected blindside event you couldn't anticipate. But we can also get hit by something painfully obvious.
I like to avoid the painfully obvious when possible.
Application is not a one-size-fits-all thing. Because what hurts one person inspires another. I have always felt inspired and energized by helping people in need, especially when they show appreciation. And use my help to carry themselves to more significant achievement.
In comparison, I have known people who feel like if they are not constantly taking and always keeping the upper hand, they feel bad.
All you have to do is note the before and after when dealing with people. Your mind and body will be willing to show you what you need to know, whether you want to know or not.
Our minds and bodies whisper first, tap us on the shoulder, and then give us a significant shove.
It is advantageous to heed the whispers and not endure the shoves for our mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
I am the first to admit our emotions, wants, and needs often help us ignore the warning signs, but the pain of missing the symptoms is always way worse when the "hammer drops."
Usually, self-realization can be a complex animal to understand, but not when you take notice of your mental and physical reactions to things.
You may not know precisely what makes you joyful and at peace. But you will soon understand what doesn't. And that is an excellent start in the right direction.
Chronic to mild fatigue and lackluster are the least of your worries. Because the more you allow yourself to participate in draining relationships, the more you will be drawn to them. Sooner or later, you will form a hormonal addiction to these relationships. The repetition will make you believe this is a natural part of life. And doom you to a miserable existence.
Happiness is the foundation of mental, emotional, and physical health.
We are more creative and stress-free in this state. We live longer, healthier lives. We are a pleasure to be around. And we bring joy and peace to others.
Happy people serve others with love and empathy. Unhappy people don't. Have you ever taken the time to notice the best people you have been in contact with are happy people?
You may notice immediately or later what a joy it was to make their acquaintance. People like this leave a lasting impression and often have the choice of a better caliber of acquaintances.
When we consciously surround ourselves with these people, we will never be overwhelmed by life. You will never feel alone, betrayed, or depressed.
Their presence will fuel resilience and grit. Knowing they are there for you will also strengthen you in their absence.
People like this don't "grow on trees." And you may have to be patient. However, if these traits are strong in you, people like this will cross your path naturally. They are keepers, and keeping them in your circle is worth the effort. And you will bring the same benefits to them.
"Your Vibe will make Your Tribe." Don't worry if you don't get along with everyone you are not supposed to. You will always be unhappy trying to make everyone you meet or know your friend; this can be true with family members. You don't have to be rude or ugly towards them. But keep a safe emotional distance from them for your mental, emotional, and physical safety. You will be glad you did.
Keeping great people in your immediate circle is like wearing a life jacket while on the lake in a boat. You won't realize how important it is until the vessel sinks.
Well, my friends, I hope you have enjoyed our time together. I know I did.
Please take each day to make your life better than the day before.
I always wish you the best as you traverse this thing called life.
And as always:
Please remember to Love Yourself. You are Not Alone. You are relevant and worthy.
How About that?
