Episode Transcript
I remember working my butt off and still beating myself up for not getting other things done. It wasn't easy working sometimes twelve hours a day. Writing, keeping the house and yard in order, creating content, while trying to stay mentally, emotionally, and physically healthy.
And sometimes I would stray from the most important, spiritually healthy. I am not talking about a religious thing. I am talking about being at peace, feeling happy and fulfilled, and having control over what was on my mind. And being able to blank my mind, if I so choose, completely.
In a world where we are led to believe that nothing is ever enough. We see the wealthy driving themselves insane and developing unhealthy addictions, trying to become richer. And people are so ashamed and unhappy with the beautiful way they are, becoming depressed, suicidal, or going to the pharmacy or surgeon, to relieve their minds.
Only to find they want more drugs, likes, or surgery. Countless people have found their way into hospitals and the graveyard, behind meaningless pursuits.
I was talking to my Mum the other day. And suddenly realised I had never wanted to be anyone but me. And though it may seem like a small thing, being this way has been a significant blessing. But I had often overtaxed myself to change a particular situation in my life. (Thank goodness it was never both.)
I say this to tell you about my ex next-door neighbor. He was so efficient and consistently achieving. His yard and house were immaculate, he had a very sweet and loving wife, and some incredible children. I remember one time we were working in his garage on a hot day, and one of them brought us a cold drink, with a smile and a warm attitude. If I had that category of lifestyle, that would be the one I would aspire to.
But, as I said, I have always been happy with who I was. A couple of years ago, my wonderful neighbor almost died from a heart attack and had to have major surgery, and never truly recovered.
That would be a price I would never be willing to pay. I am not saying this in a critical or judgmental fashion. To each his own, as long as you are not causing harm to others.
So, here I am today. Recently, I had begun to return to some of my old ways. Letting exercise go a few days, not meditating, and taking me time. Being caught up in worldly endeavors and forgetting about the most essential thing in my life, myself.
I am not saying myself in a narcissistic, self-indulgent way, but in a healthy "I need peace" kind of way. Then the self-torture crept in. I looked around and found a million and one things that in my mind all needed doing yesterday. And now I needed to do all of them today.
Then I calmed down and thought to myself, I teach and guide others with a wide variety of life issues, and have had resounding success. So, I took the time to make myself my newest client.
Everything I thought needed to be done, I wrote down. I categorized them by priority and need. I wrote down my whys. I created my SMART goals.
S.M.A.R.T., meaning Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. At this point, I felt better. But an old enemy began to creep in.
Why haven't I already done these things? How did I let myself slip? What had caused the changes, and how could I make sure it never happened again?
Realistically, when has dwelling in the past ever been a healthy thing? As long as I was currently constructively addressing the issues, who cares what I did yesterday? At this point, I was ready to start. I got a lot done and made a time journal to celebrate and monitor my progress for the day.
But again, self-torture, in the form of negative self-talk, tried to bring me down. Yes, it said, "you did a lot. but!" We all know that "but." That "but" translates to "don't be happy with what you have done; focus on what you didn't."
Why should you have a moment of fulfillment and contentment? At this moment, I was blessed with the thought of, "Not perfect, but better than yesterday." That was my much-needed superhero.
I realised I was doing great. Whatever I felt like I needed to get done would be accomplished simply by being better than I was yesterday.
I met an excellent coach and mentor out of Fort Worth, Texas, named Robert Hughs. His players and pupils at the High School where he worked recounted how inspirational he had been. Some had gone on to be professional athletes and top people in their fields.
During our conversation, he had stated a similar philosophy.
I had read an excellent book called Coach Wooden's Pyramid of Success. Coach John Wooden was an amazing professional basketball coach. He was able to bring the very best out of his players. The foundation of his success was to have people to compete with themselves and to be a little better each day.
One of his famous quotes: "Make each day your masterpiece."
I often use the blank canvas analogy with clients. Each day we start with a blank canvas, make sure it is you who is painting. Make sure you paint from the best version of who you wish to become. Choose your colors, style, and brushes. And make sure you are the one who guides the brush strokes.
So, the next time you feel down on yourself. Or feel overwhelmed and unaccomplished, please remember and apply the fact that whatever you want to accomplish can be achieved by simply using "You don't have to be perfect just better than you were yesterday."
Take care, my friends, be good to yourself. Don't do anything to anyone that you don't want done to you. Take care and stay aware.
How about that?
