Episode Transcript
What's inside of you? And when does it come out? No matter how hard you squeeze a lemon, only lemon juice comes out.
I know this sounds simplistic, but this is a profound and critical point of self-realization.
Simply put, what else can realistically come out because it's a lemon?
We can tell who we are by what comes out of us when circumstances challenge us.
The results from squeezing are a telltale-proof positive way to tell what kind of person you are dealing with.
But for now, we will concentrate on ourselves. Considering ourselves, we can create a system of skill sets that will help us in different circumstances.
But of course, we don't want to go from bad to worse. Self-realization will be your compass for the best personal development.
Let's say that there is the same reaction when someone does something specific to you. And you have decided that you no longer want that for yourself. I used to struggle with people asking questions and then wanting to argue about the answer.
I would foolishly engage them with no positive result. Then, hours and sometimes days later, I would replay the conversation over and over. Afterward, I would end up with the same conclusions and self-analysis.
Why did they ask me something they were struggling with and had no answer to? And then argue about an applicable answer? More importantly, why would I think they would embrace a rational answer when they were always adopting an irrational choice?
Inside of me, I had a burning desire to help others. This desire came from remembering how I struggled with no one to assist me and how painful it was to eventually find my way. I could see what was happening and possessed great tools I had crafted and used effectively.
I believed it was somehow my responsibility to help others needing my talents.
I was only half right! Yes, I had some great answers. And yes, it's lovely to help those in need willingly. However, this was a "keyhole" approach because I didn't consider other factors.
Did people want my help or just vent? If they really wanted my help, would they apply the advice? Could their ego and pride accept the help?
I felt okay, but I had to learn to pick whom I advised carefully and replace getting upset with empathy, compassion, and common sense.
Do you remember the credit card commercial that said, "What's in your wallet?" I'm asking you to ask yourself, "What's in you?"
Maybe you are full of love and compassion, but people run all over you. Conversely, are you full of anger or confusion, and you find yourself causing yourself issues?
Everything is contextual. There are times to stand your ground for your own good and times to back down. Positive decisions during challenging situations are a must.
So, how do we create a better life for ourselves with these things in mind? The first order of business is to respond instead of react. A response gives us time to process and execute an action that serves us instead of harming us.
We can use a simple set of thoughts for this. How do you want to feel? And what is your purpose? When we answer questions such as these, we eliminate the "fluff." Don't engage in activities that can stop you from feeling how you want to. If you intend to help someone who refuses help, you will not be able to help.
There are extenuating circumstances, but remember that when you step over the line, you expose yourself to undesirable consequences.
If your ego and pride come to the forefront all the time, anger, frustration, and abuse may flare up at a moment's notice. Antagonistic reactions only pour fuel on the fire.
You may also become hurt because you were sincerely trying to help. The point is, have you hurt or harmed yourself? We don't need to delve any deeper than that.
Please don't be overwhelmed by the analysis. You already know when you feel positive and cheerful, just like you know when you don't. Either make a mental note or include these things in a journal.
You will easily detect patterns. Of course, there are triggers and programming, but keep it simple. You can work on realizing that the only thing that comes out is what is already inside.
Being self-aware is the first step to redemption. Believe in yourself, and you will make it happen.
Please join me in the next episode, part two of "great Communication in Relationships."
So, my friends, until next time. Keep the faith in yourself.
Love Yourself. You are Not Alone. You are relevant and worthy.
How About that?
