Show Notes
Is there anything worse than making a considerable effort to get something or someone and then realizing you don't want it?
This podcast explores the dos and don'ts when picking a goal.
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Episode Transcript
Good day to all. And it's great to have you back. Have you had a chance to evaluate yourself? And have you explored at least one of the tools I mentioned previously?
It doesn't matter if it is self-reflection, the Enneagram, the Briggs-Myers, or a core values evaluation, as long as it has been some avenue for self-realization.
I cannot stress the importance of knowing who you are in life. I don't care if it is the pursuit of a job, education, a mate, or a pack of gum.
Life is too short to waste time.
If you don't make up your mind, someone else will.
Someone will benefit from all our choices, so we must ensure that someone is us. We don't have to be selfish or malicious towards others, just considerate of ourselves.
In today's society, we're constantly bombarded with messages about the importance of striving for more. We're told that accumulating wealth, possessions, and achievements measures success. But what if I told you that true fulfillment also lies in not constantly chasing after what's out of reach but appreciating what we already have?
The grass always seems greener on the other side. Just because your neighbor purchased a new lawn mower doesn't mean you need to.
Emotions are like a leaf in the wind; wherever the wind blows, the leaf goes. We have to be careful about any emotionally-based action.
I'm not saying all decisions should be emotionless, but a little caution can save you from a big regret.
Another consideration is asking yourself what is going on in your life. When we lose control of one part of our lives, we overcompensate in other aspects. I remember a manager coming to me asking my input on why she wanted her desk so orderly. She felt something was wrong with her because she even enjoyed the pens perfectly straight on her desk.
And a stray paper clip would drive her up the wall. I explained to her it was perfectly normal. Her responsibilities were immense. And much of her functionality was based on many variables and other people's optimized performance. On certain days, things were impossible to go as planned, and she would spend most of those days "putting out fires."
As she reflected, she realized the more complicated the day was, the more she insisted on the impeccable arrangement of her desk. Additionally, if the morning were rough, she would spend lunch in the sanctity of her office instead of eating in the lunch area.
Have you ever been hungry and felt like you need to prepare a decent meal, and, before you know it, a whole box of cookies or three bags of potato chips or crisps, depending on where you are in the world, has become your meal?
We need to master the "Look Before We Leap" concept in our lives.
But before we leap, we need to ask ourselves these important questions:
1) Why am I leaping?
2) Do I need to leap?
3) What effects will this leap have on my life?
4) Am I leaping for Me or Someone else?
5) What will happen if I don't leap?
Of course, it won't be easy at first, but if you think about the past problems and issues that can and have occurred from not addressing these possibilities, it's well worth it.
I learned the hard way about not checking my tires before driving my car. My excuse would be that I'm in a hurry to work. And yes, you guessed it, the tire was low and went flat on the way to work one day. And yes, I was late. I also put myself in danger by changing the tire on the side of a busy highway.
I have made impulsive purchases, saying, that looks cool. Or, that would be nice to have. Then, I only opened the box when I got it home or when it was delivered.
Jumping into relationships without measuring cost or liability has caused me irreparable harm in the past. I used to have eleven credit cards until I realized most purchases were for wants, not needs.
How many times have you jumped into a situation prompted by someone else only to be left high and dry?
One of my most valuable applications is asking myself what it would be like if I just said no. One of my core teaching approaches is the Power of "No." because all the information in the world is useless if you cannot say yes to the "good' stuff and no to the "Bad" stuff.
Getting what you want may be easy. But wanting what you get sometimes turns out differently than we expected.
Sometimes, despite your best intentions, what you want is a trainwreck in disguise. But fear not! Such failures not only make for excellent storytelling material, but they also provide invaluable life lessons. Remember, laughing at yourself is the perfect antidote to disappointment!
The Dalai Lamma once said, "Not Getting What You Want Can Be a Blessing."
Here's a quick story. A friend from work and I were taking an after-work class sponsored by our employer. He had taken to a lovely lady, and I was somewhat interested in another lady in the class.
He informed me that he would make his move during the following class. However, he didn't make it to the next class, and after class, the beautiful lady he was going to "make a move on" approached me.
She later informed me that she had been interested in me all along.
Two years later, we were married with a son. Unfortunately, that story had an unexpected twist because I came home and found her deceased on the floor with my ten-month-old son in the bed. If I had to do it all again, I would because she was an incredible blessing. I thank God for the time I had with her. And she gifted me a wonderful baby boy.
Life is a funny, strange, and often unpredictable ride. While we may struggle to get what we want, finding joy in wanting what we get is an art form in itself. So, embrace the absurdity, laugh at the unexpected, and cherish every detour on this delightfully entertaining journey we call life!
It was great to visit with you again. I hope I have given you valuable and relevant information.
So until next time.
And as always:
Please remember to Love Yourself. You are Not Alone. You are relevant and worthy.
How About that?
