Episode Transcript
Have you ever felt lost, confused, or stuck in your life? Have you ever wondered what you are meant to do or who you are meant to be? If you have, you are not alone. Many people face these questions at some point, especially when they encounter significant changes or challenges, such as graduating, moving, changing careers, losing a loved one, or retiring.
I remember when life threw curve balls at me; one instance was being laid off from a great-paying job. A company closed down, and my wife's transition was untimely. These are the sought-after moments when we reach a crossroads, a point where we have to make a decision that will shape our future.
More often than not, we are stressed and disorientated during these times. I was a victim of my hormones, memories, anxiety, and actions without analysis. The Amygdala part of my brain wanted actions now! And the frontal lobe was not offering essential creative solutions.
We find ourselves at a seemingly impossible crossroads. The problem will overpower us if we do nothing. We could make the situation one hundred times worse., if we make the wrong decision.
In this state of being, I made several erroneous decisions at the worst possible times.
But how do we make the right decision? How do we find our direction and purpose in life? There is no easy answer to these questions, but some steps can help us navigate our crossroads more clearly and confidently.
We need to start with who we are. By realizing who we are, we can plot a course that is aligned with our true selves. The true self-alignment will keep us motivated and clear for purpose.
What matters most to you in life? What makes you happy, fulfilled, and excited? What are your strengths, talents, and skills? What are your dreams and goals? These clues can help you discover your true self and your unique purpose. Write them down, or create a vision board, to remind yourself of what you want and why you want it.
We need to watch our thoughts closely. Our minds will dredge past failures, mistakes, and other useless data. Our inner critic will cause us to catastrophize or use the all-or-nothing approach. Once these things bunch together, the results can be extremely harmful. Unfortunately, in some cases, the negative solution is irreversible.
We must take a deep breath, step back, and vigorously use inductive and deductive reasoning.
What are the possible paths that you can take from your crossroads? What are the pros and cons of each option? What are the risks and rewards? What are the costs and benefits? What are the requirements and resources? Please research, talk to people who have taken similar paths, or try out different experiences to learn more about your choices and their consequences.
As I mentioned in my book From Chaos to Calm: Making Your Life Your Own, "It is easier to avoid quicksand than trying to get out of it.
What does your gut feeling tell you about your options? How do you feel about each option? Do you feel excited, curious, or hopeful? Or do you feel anxious, bored, or doubtful? Your intuition and emotions are potent guides that can help you recognize what is right for you and what is not. Trust your inner voice, and pay attention to your feelings.
Most societies call on the male to be a decision-maker and doer of fix-it actions. Many males find it hard to ask for advice even when they have no idea what to do. Ego, pride, and wanting to exhibit "manhood" can be a terrible downfall. Seeking assistance is not a weakness; it is a sign of maturity.
You don't have to navigate your crossroads alone. You can seek guidance and support from others who can help you with your decision-making process. Your family, friends, mentors, coaches, counselors, or spiritual leaders can be these. They can offer advice, feedback, encouragement, or inspiration based on their experiences, knowledge, or wisdom.
However, remember that the final decision is yours, and you should not let others pressure you or influence you against your will. It would help if you accepted advice, not verbatim, unless the answer is deduced from your inner calculations.
Wishing, wanting, and praying without actions often yield little or no credible results. Once you have reflected, explored, listened, and sought, it is time to decide and take action.
Don't let fear, doubt, or procrastination stop you from moving forward. Remember that there is no perfect decision, and you can always change your direction if necessary. The most important thing is to take the first step, the next, and then the next until you reach your destination. Never fear "failure" because you will not quit, so you cannot fail.
Fear and doubt are born of having limited faith in our judgment. The only way to eliminate this fear is by exercising judgment and becoming good at it. Perfect practice makes perfect.
We have all done something for the first time. We have also performed tasks repeatedly and become good at those tasks. Remember these feelings of confusion or doubt will leave as you become proficient through repetition.
I'm not saying it will change overnight. Nothing worth having is simple and easy. However, easy come, easy go reminds us to stay on the path for our own good.
Navigating life's crossroads can be challenging but also rewarding. It can be an opportunity to grow, learn, and transform. It can be a chance to find your direction and purpose in life. So, don't be afraid of your crossroads. Embrace them, and use them to create the life you want and deserve.
After all, it's your life, and you want to make it the best it can be for your development and enjoyment.
Well, my friends, keep up the excellent work. Continue to support, encourage, and challenge yourself.
Remember always to be the best version of you. In addition, Love Yourself. You are Not Alone. You are relevant and worthy.
How About that?
